Shitty Art

[The facts in this post come from today’s edition of the New York Post.]

The artist (not what I call him), Andres Serrano, who brought us Piss Christ, a crucifix thrown into a backlit jar of the artist’s urine, is back with a new exhibit.

This time it’s “Shit: An Investigation.” Yes, you heard that right. And if you instantly got an idea of what it might include and then dismissed it as some crazy mental leap, then you’d be wrong. Sixty-six portraits of feces, each priced between $30,000 and $40,000 dollars (for those who don’t know what to do with their excess cash) will be on display. Most are animal samples. Ah, but there are three human samples, as the New York Post reports: Freudian Shit (from his therapist), Holy Shit (from an unnamed priest), and Self-Portrait (guess who?).

He says, “The smell is the worst part. I would just, you know, take it–either with a glove, or someone would put it on the table for me–and then I’d turn it around and look for something. You want to wear a mask.”

He was delighted when he found a face in one of the samples. Just like cloud gazing, huh?

It was at about this point in the reading, as I was eating my lunch, that I noticed the four, full-color photographs in the upper-right corner of the page. I jumped back in my chair and threw my sandwich down on the plate, but then I found myself leaning in again . . .

Great Scott, if that jaguar sample didn’t look like a turtle with a little beady eye.

Serrano thinks he is making a statement against pretension in art. “This show, it’s like the circus coming to town. It’s, like, the emperor has no clothes.”

I wonder how many art snobs will miss the message and take the serious essay in the show catalog at face value and then pay face value for a framed piece of shit.

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